Nonculture

 A few friends and I have had many discussions on weeknight drinking and the best way to pull it off.  How to avoid hangovers, how to make it in to work without getting pulled over, etc. 

Our latest one was about stinking of booze at work and how to avoid detection.  You gotta realize the stink stays with you all the next day.  There are three ninja steps to pulling this one off:

Douse

Distance

Deflect

Spray on that cologne, pop those tic tacs, make sure your clothes are clean – Douse the alcohol coming through your pores.  It sounds like common sense, but don’t just do it in the morning, you need to keep a fresh application of distracting scents going all day.  Make sure you are at least 2 plus feet away from your client at all times if possible.  Always talk with the least amount of breath you can manage exhaling if you can not Distance.  Deflection can be particularly tricky; it involves settings like elevators where you are forced to be in close contact.  In these situations you need to slightly shift your person so that any perceivable alcoholic odor is transferred from you to the person next to you.  This can confuse others as to who is still drunk at 8am.  It takes practice, but be sure to throw in a confused looking eyebrow at all times; this lets people know you are in on the smell and it can’t possibly be you.  Looking at the corner of the ceiling and the wall isn’t a bad ploy either; it makes you look like you are trying to determine the source of something.

Keep these steps in mind, and you should be successful at surviving the sweat out.